“That’s right,” said the lawyer.“But why are you asking?” “And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldn’t read?” “And that a lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?” “And now someone is suin’ dem fast food restaurants for makin’ dem fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all dem der burgers an’ fries, is that true,?” “Yes, Patrick, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”ģ) Irish Jokes: Can I blame it on Guinness?:ĭublin’s Patrick O’Shea called his lawyer and asked, “Is it true they are suin’ dem der cigarette companies for causin’ people to git cancer?” “How do they pee, then?” asks the Englishman. “Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I’ll Chop his

The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a “Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!” he says. They all goĪn hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. “Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.Īs he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?” “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!” 2) Irish joke about the leprechaun:Īn Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.”, “Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy, “Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy. “Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patient’s wife.“Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?” No,” replies the doctor, “take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. “So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” An Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.

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